About LettersNeverSent.com

Background

LettersNeverSent.com was inspired by a passage in Dale Carnegie's best selling book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People." The passage describes how President Abraham Lincoln, when faced with bitter disappointment, calmed his anger by writing a letter, and never sending it. Here is the passage, in its entirety:

As Abraham Lincoln lay dying of an assassin's bullet, Secretary of War Stanton was quoted as saying "There lies the most perfect ruler of men that the world has ever seen."

What made Lincoln such a great leader? He succeeded in curing himself of the critical spirit we've talked about this morning.

Lincoln had suffered through inept and bungling generals for the first three years of the war. McClellen, Pope, Burnside, and Hooker... but in the summer of 1863, it seemed that the Union under General Meade would finally be able to crush the confederacy. Lee had stumbled badly at Gettysburg and needed to flee back across the Potomac to regroup and survive. But the Potomac was swollen and crossing was impossible. Sensing victory at hand, Lincoln sent both a telegraph and a special messenger to Meade specifically instructing him not to hold a war council but to attack immediately. What did Meade do? He held his war council and delayed. Because of that delay Lee had the time to move his troops across the river to safety.

Lincoln was crushed. In anger he composed this letter:

"My dear General,

I do not believe you appreciate the magnitude of the misfortune involved in Lee's escape. He was within our easy grasp, and to have closed upon him would, in connection with our other late successes, have ended the war. As it is, the war will be prolonged indefinitely. If you could not safely attack Lee last Monday, how can you possibly do so south of the river, when you can take with you very few - no more than 2/3's of the force you then had in hand? It would be unreasonable to expect and I do no expect that you can now effect much. Your golden opportunity is gone, and I am distressed immeasurably because of it."

What do you suppose Meade did when he read that letter?... He never did. Lincoln never sent the letter. It was found later amongst Lincoln's papers following his death. Why didn't he send it? Because he had come to grips with a critical spirit and determined to defeat it.

LettersNeverSent.com was created to help you vent your frustrations to an audience that will listen. So, before you send that nasty note, why not send it to us first. You may be saving yourself from creating an even bigger problem!

 
 

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