| Letter
Details: Thank you, hotmail. |
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By
steakandeggs
Category: Daily Dilemmas
Description:
junk mail
Dear Hotmail,
Just when you thought it was safe to open your email in front of your parents . . .
I just wanted to thank you for the recent influx of mail regarding the following topics:
1. preteen privates
2. animal lover ben
3. how to enlarge my (nonexistent) schlong
4. how to give "her" a better orgasm
5. numerous emails from "Young.Hotties"
6. crazy lesbian orgies
I noticed that these sex emails are all geered (sp?) toward a male audience. I was looking for something more along the lines of
how to enlarge my breasts, safely and naturally (as if there was such a natural way). I feel a little neglected, quite frankly.
I have a younger brother who subscribes to hotmail, and quite frankly, I'm disturbed that he's getting pictures of blonde D-cupped naked women sucking on parts of a horse that I didnt' know existed. Now, I'm not one of those femi-nazi women, and I'm not strictly against adult entertainment. However, GIVE ME THE CHOICE TO WANT IT OR NOT. Don't just dump that shit in my email. I don't want it.
And that's just the porn . .
Not to mention the mortgage companies and banks that are coming after me every day offering to refinance my house and give me a second mortgage loan, or offers to make millions sitting on my fat ass eating chimichangas at home. No thanks.
Oh, and if I got a dollar for every "debt-free" email that I got, I WOULD be debt-free.
So in the future, send me more email on the following topics:
1. How to payoff my school loans in less than a year without selling the use of my body parts.
2. How to get As without working too hard.
3. How to get a job that I love, or just avoid working.
4. How to get my parents off my back about graduating.
5. Free vacations without selling my soul.
6. How to steal cable.
7. How to get my car to run about 50 miles to the gallon.
8. How to get the stalker at my job to leave me alone without ending up in jail.
You get the idea . . .
Sincerely,
nomoretitsinmymail@hotmail.com
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| Vote
Totals: |
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| Letter
viewed: |
3459 Times
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| Yes,
send the letter: |
1.075%
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| No,
keep it: |
98.92%
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| Average
User Ranking: |
6.08/10
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| Previous Votes & Comments: |
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| Don't Send It! |
22-January 2006 |
| Hotmail doesnt send you that stuff. It's generated when you visit certain sites on ur web browser, and/or fill ur e-mail address in on sites that are not secure. I've used hotmail since I was 11yo (now 20), and have never had a problem like the one you are describing.
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| Send it! |
22-January 2006 |
| Damn it, if only...
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| Don't Send It! |
22-January 2006 |
| what he/she said
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| Send it! |
22-January 2006 |
| i totally agree wiv that 1!
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| Send it! |
22-January 2006 |
| Hah ha, I enjoy your humor in the letter, I believe you should send it.
Although it's not really hotmails fault for it...though they should have better filters to get out all the junk.
If you'd like I can send you an invite to gmail, it's a lot more secure.
Just e-mail me at freezestar@gmail.com and i'll be more than happy to send you in invite.
I hope things work out well for you and your letter though if you do decide to send it.
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| Don't Send It! |
22-January 2006 |
| How can you send a letter to hotmail?
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| Don't Send It! |
22-January 2006 |
| Ok, so hotmail sends you some junk crap, so go to gmail. The other crap is generated thanks to yourself. That's right, you can bitch at yourself now.
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| Don't Send It! |
22-January 2006 |
| If only you could send it
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| Send it! |
22-January 2006 |
| lmao
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| Send it! |
22-January 2006 |
| Shout it out!!
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| Send it! |
23-January 2006 |
| That is great. I love your humor.
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| Send it! |
23-January 2006 |
| You ppl who are saying it's her fault for these emails being sent... shut the hell up. This is a site for entertainment. Perhaps you'd be better off visiting a political website...
I think the letter's great!!!
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| Send it! |
24-January 2006 |
| fuck yes send it. i get the loans nd free restraunt meals etc all the time. i report it as junk, and homtail has done nothing
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| Send it! |
24-January 2006 |
| WOW!!! I SOOO AGREE WITH YOU!!!
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| Send it! |
12-March 2006 |
| Go for it, send send send!!!!!!!
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| Don't Send It! |
19-March 2006 |
| Errr.. it's your fucking fault, if you don't want junk email, then stop signing up to sites like this idiot.
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| Send it! |
25-March 2006 |
| send it bitch
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| Send it! |
25-March 2006 |
| send it bitch
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| Send it! |
5-April 2006 |
| ha HOLY CRAP
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| Send it! |
4-July 2006 |
| zestuihkyhvyuhkh
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| Don't Send It! |
8-February 2008 |
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Other
Categories:
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Business Blunders