Letters Never Sent - Scathing Truths Never Shared with the Recipient

Letter Details: I am the bitch who broke your heart.

Category: Valentine's Day Promotion!

Description: I left you sobbing in the rain, took from you your most precious lover, turned on you when I was the one you thought you could trust.

Dear Ex- Lover.

You weren't perfect. You cheated on me when we were first together many times, and I suspect you kept on doing it.

But do you know, I still feel guilty?

We were engaged, had been for years, I knew you'd never save up enough money for us to do it. I'd saved my share, gone to university to get an education, but you'd stayed at home unemployed, spending what little money you had on collectable cards. You never had the money to come see me, I had to pay for you to take the train. I had to pay to feed you when you visited, but to feed myself when I visited you as well.I had to pay for our holidays and our dates.

And yet, still, I feel guilty.

You had to be reminded a hundred times to get me a valentines card. You never listened to me when I talked. You hated my family and I hated yours. I saved up for ages to buy you your engagement ring, but you bought me the cheapest one you possibly could, even though it was ugly as hell. You lived with your parents and I had to be around them while they swore and chain smoked. I didn't trust you, and I didn't respect you by the end, because you always did something stupid, like thieving or quitting a job for no reason, or cheating on me.

But still, the guilt lingers.

You lied to me about having jobs when you didnt, we never went out on dates if I couldnt pay because you'd spend your money on lottery tickets and computers. You were in so much debt and weren't paying it back. You sure didn't have the smarts, you dropped out of your college courses, wanted to watch tv all day. You wanted me to have 5 kids and live in a council house with you, claiming benefits to survive. Your personal hygenie was disgusting, you were impolite, messy, rude and aggressive. You had no imagination and no talent.

And yet, still, I am guilty.

Do you want to know why?

Well, there's the way that while I was set to marry you, I LOVED SOMEONE ELSE MORE.

And there's the way that, while you never made me feel loved, the day I told you it was over after four years together you broke down in tears and howled with grief.

There's the way I couldn't stop your tears, the way you got down on your knees and begged, literally, and I still wouldn't love you again.

There's the way I locked you out of the house, in the winter rain, and told you to get your train home, but you just beat your fists against the wood, feebly, sobbing.

There's the way I stood at the other side of the door, my head resting agaisnt it, but didn't speak a word of comfort to you, as you slid down to the doorstep and sat there in a puddle, weeping, as the rain changed to sleet.

There's the way you got up as a broken man an hour later, a man who has unexpectedly and creully had his worst nightmare visited on him, who has lost the woman he loves in he space of an afternoon. Who set off this morning to spend time with the lover he missed and adored only to find she didnt't want him anymore.

There's the way we had a future, til I cancelled it. We were going to spend forever together. I broke all our plans and left you with a big blank nothing to look forward to, to aim for, nothing to live for. I was your everything.

There's the way that when you called and said you were about to throw yourself in traffic, if I wouldnt love you again, I still wouldnt take you back, just called the police instead.

There's the way that even now, over a year later, when you tell me you still love me in that sad voice, I turn a blind eye. You have tried to be with other girls but you can't forget about me.

There's the way that I'm happy and in love again with my whole life ahead of me, whereas you are lonely and debt ridden with no prospects and no friends.

So yes, I feel guilty.

This Valentines day, I can't give you love.

All I can do, is tell you this.

There was a time I loved you more than anyone else in the world, for at least two years I was yours and yours alone.

For you, I gave up the chance to be with the love of my life, because I was scared of hurting you.

For you, I endured all the bad times when you were off with other women, and the lonely times when we were miles and miles apart only seeing each other at the weekends.

For you, I will always carry the happy memories we had together.

Standing outside the church we wanted to marry in, on whitby cliff tops on a summer day. Curled up under your duvet sorting through the conkers we'd picked that afternoon. Long nights of passion where we didn't sleep, because we were too busy loving. All the times I actually cried with happiness because I loved you so much. The silky feel of your hair as I combed it for you, the sound of your laugh as you tried to cheer me up whenever I was down. Whole weeks spent completeting a computer game together, til we found victory. Picnics in local beauty spots, all the letters and texts that we sent, the poems you pretended to have written, to impress me, because you knew deep down I craved an artistic, creative man.

I will never, ever, forget or regret that I loved you.

I just can't anymore, even though you'd like me too.

I'm so, so, sorry.

I will never stop feeling guilty.

This heart, this me, cannot be yours, but there is a me I left behind who will always, always be yours. No one can take her from you. No one can take from you the memory that once I loved you more than anyone or anything. That will always be true, of our time together. Just because it is not true in this present does not mean it was never true.

She will always love you.
She is a better person than me, the woman she became.

I really, really hope you find love this valentines day, and hope you can forgive me for loving someone else this february, when for so very long, there was only you.

xxx

Vote Totals:
Letter viewed:	788 Times
Yes, send the letter:	16.66%
No, keep it:	83.34%
Average User Ranking:	5.22/10

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Previous Votes & Comments:

Send it!	25-January 2006
good for you.

Send it!	25-January 2006
although this guy seems to not deserve this, i think the fact that he still hangs on for so long, that's so crazy and sweet. no matter how much you dislike or even hate someone, heartache is not something i'd ever wish on anybody, and if i could, i'd do as much as i could to take it away without injuring myself in the process. if it were me, i would actually send this letter

Don't Send It!	13-March 2006
I think you should keep this letter for now. In the beginning of the letter you put down this guy severely and at the end you start talking about all the good times, soI believe you are not sure whom you really love. Your mind tells you to move on while your heart says the opposite. Either way, I believer sending him this letter will just hurt him even more, so it would be best if you just decided to forget and move on. Sheesh, that's just the kind of story I need to lighten up my day!